Never Be The Same

My thoughts are searching memories,
memories I left behind.
There's a battle raging on in me,
the past has filled my mind.

I'm tempted to let go again,
to run and not look back,
but I've been down the road before,
and joy is what it lacks.

I don't want to go back there,
I don't want to want that sin.
Though I miss the way I felt,
I don't want to feel it again.

You had me for a little while,
and you chose to let me go.
The pain was hard to bear at times,
in ways you will never know.

But had our past not happened,
and had we chose to walk away,
my life would speak much quieter,
and I'd have much less to say.

I know this may confuse you,
how I can fight the way I feel,
but God has made it clear to me,
that none of it was real.

I asked you why He allowed it,
if He considered it a sin,
your answer was my turning point,
"so you can prove your love to Him."

I think I tried to save you,
but in the end I failed myself.
I'm not sure what I've done for you,
but you were my biggest help.

I'm sorry if I hurt you,
I'm sorry that I changed,
I jeopardized our futures,
and I caused un-needed pain.

I will always regret "us",
I will always look back in shame,
but my weakness brought my healing,
and now I'll never be the same.

The Storm Always Goes By

Nobody wants to feel sad,
Nobody wants to feel pain.
Everybody searches for shelter,
When it begins to rain.

Sometimes the dark we hide in,
Becomes all that we know.
We're convinced there's no way out,
And no where else to go.

In the past are all the memories,
All the moments that felt right.
So we try to find our way back there,
So it is easier to sleep at night.

But the past holds more than good times,
It is also full of the bad.
And once we find our way back there,
We end up wishing we never had.

So that shelter that you search for,
When it begins to rain,
If it's in the past just leave it,
Because t won't help the pain.

Instead just spread your arms out,
And look up to the sky,
You may get wet for a moment,
But the storm always goes by.