Motion Text Video

Another assignment from this semester.

Change

Everybody wants to change the world, but some people just except the fact that they cant and stop trying. Others have themselves convinced that if they pick up a piece of trash, they have made a world of difference. If that's the only change we are striving for then by all means let the earth rejoice, but what about the people in it? There is more focus on changing the conditions people live in than the lives of the people within those conditions. There is more focus on improving the quantity of our lives than the quality of them. Quality meaning; inwardly and emotionally, not conditionally or situationaly cause it is apparent we have no problem doing that. We live in a country where it is absolutely unheard of if you don't have a computer or a cell phone. I'm not saying it is bad to have these things I'm just saying why does it matter so much if someone doesn't? Is their life deprived of some necessary element for survival? Does their life have a lower quality than someone who does own these things? I think not but if you'll excuse me while I stereotype America real quick; I am sure many people wouldn't think twice about arguing yes to those questions. So what needs to change and how do we change it? If one isn't willing to change them self then it isn't fair to expect anyone else to change, which is probably why we don't see much change taking place. "Change your self and you've changed the world" is an accurate saying but it leaves out the idea of any action taking place after the change within "you" has happened. The world does NOT revolve around you, but yes technically you have changed the world because you are still in this world and you yourself have changed but change is only change for so long before it eventually becomes labeled as "the same". So I will go a head and alter that saying a bit and make it more of a challenge. "Change yourself then go change the world." God would never create us unable to overcome the world he created us in.

Life

I have lived many years and all the days that I can remember have one thing in common; at least one moment of despair and sadness. Now don't get me wrong I have had many moments of happiness many memories I wish never to forget. But to say my life has been lived to the full as God intended it would be a complete and utter lie. I have failed in the very way I wished to succeed…gracefully. A failure I didn't know had come to be has seemed to block the very path I walk on. I don't know where that path was leading me but all of the sudden I lack the strength or even the will to go on and find out.

I've had dreams before but I have come to find anything you have to imagine usually means you had to come up with something to hope for because you know the real thing isn't very likely to happen or even exist. "Dreams really do come true" is a saying, said as if trying to convince people of something. You want to know why we need convincing? Because the things we hoped for, the things we imagined, or even dreamed have a huge history of never happening, therefore crushing our hopes and leaving us looking for some one or something to convince us it "really" can happen even though we know first hand that it is very unlikely. I do not know who this "we" and "us" that I speak of consist, but I guess maybe I am just hoping, and dreaming that I am not the only one as screwed up as I have convinced my self that I am.

You see this life that I am living has yet to prove itself any different than death. This life that I am living has yet to prove its self anything other than just an existence. There have been many things I have wished to do but I lack the means to do them. It kind of makes one wonder if I was bound for this failure that has seemed to catch me by surprise. I seemed to have failed in something I wasn't even given a chance to succeed in. I lost a game in which I was benched.

That old saying "you can run but you cant hide" I believe it to be true but I guess it cant really be false if the very thing you are running from is yourself. I have ran from my problems I have ran from my mistakes, my flaws, failures, fears and even my own heart. Only I have ran for so long from my heart that I have seemed to accomplish the very thing I believe I was trying to avoid…losing it. Yes I have lost my heart and now I can't seem to find where it lies and I don't have the slightest idea of where to start looking. I feel nothing because I have nothing in which to feel anything with. I love nothing because I have nothing to tell me what love is. I have nothing because in order to have anything you have to be able to lose it and if I have lost my heart I believe it is safe to say I have nothing left to lose.

Someone who has nothing left to lose might think it is safe to say that they then have everything to gain. Wrong. Once you lose everything you wish never to gain a thing in fear of losing it again. And rather than going through another loss you chose to except your current state and go on living a life you don't understand no matter how hard you try to understand it.

I think we are all trying to understand something that is not meant to be understood… something, I believe is the hardest thing to understand even if we were meant to understand it. Life can be many things but one thing I know it is not is something that makes any sense at all, so we should all just stop trying to understand it. I think we will be disappointed in what we find anyway if we were to ever understand what it is we seek so hard to understand.

This all may seem like a bunch of depressing, meaningless shit that will never come to be anything more than a few words on a piece of paper. But it may also seem to be a glimpse of hope for someone out there writing about a "we" or "us" unsure of their own existence. It may be a window to an idea that if we would just live our lives from the beginning as if we have nothing to lose as if we were searching for our heart in every part of life, then maybe the slightest understanding of why we are here may come into view. Maybe if we live our lives as if already lost then we wont be disappointed when we lose anything. Maybe if we live our lives constantly searching for our heart we may finally find out its true desires, and there will then be nothing to block that path, and nothing to hold us back from going on to see where it leads. Maybe this idea is not a dream maybe it is a reality that just hasn't come to be. And if it is just a dream well… maybe some dreams can come true, weather you believe it or not, I guess just depends on your own experiences with hope.

Shaken Up.

I just returned from the 4th world country of Haiti this past Sunday, it was an amazing week spent with the most joyful kids I have ever met. Obviously with this past Tuesday's quake joy is not a word expected to be used to describe the people there but I know without a shadow of a doubt it is the only word that should be used. Last week we made every effort to let these kids know how much God loves them despite any situation they may be in and I believe whole heartedly that, they believe that is true. If anyone knows without a doubt God loves them and truly believes it then "joy" is the only word that should fit into a description of their life.

My life has been forever changed by the impact these kids had, not only on myself but all 34 of us who visited them. And thanks to God their lives have been forever changed by the love we shared with them. I have no words to describe the shock we all experienced when the news broadcasted the conditions of the same streets we were driving on just days before.

Before:

After: <-- Click Here

Its been hard to watch, but the World also needs to know what they are going through because even before this happened they were in need of help... we (America) just ignore what's going on in the world as long as it is not effecting our "world". America is 6% of the worlds population yet some how it controls 40% of the worlds resources. The amount of money it would take on average to support the whole world with what they need to survive healthily for a year is the same amount of money that America spends on Ice Cream in a year. 8% of the people in the world own a car, 1% of the worlds population owns a computer. We are RICH!! Believe it and help those who arent! As Bono askes "When you get to heaven and God asks you why you didn't help those in need what are you going to say? 'I didn't know or I didn't care?'"